Is it really worth your energy? That is a question I plan to start asking myself more frequently. I was talking with a friend about setting goals for 2023. She mentioned that one of her goals is to work towards not getting upset when the subject matter has no impact on her life. Be careful when spending your energy on others, you may need it for yourself.
Think about that. How often do you get upset about something that has little or no impact on your life? Do you get upset with decisions that others make even though those decisions have zero impact on you? Is it really worth your energy?
As I began to think abou this, I took a pause to consider how often I find myself in the same situation. How often do I find myself upset or agitated because someone made a choice or decision that is different than what I believe? Someone made a choice that best suits them, why do I think I need to have an opinion? Isn’t life hard enough without worrying about the choices and actions of others?
I have another friend that feels emotion, both good and bad, towards the behavior of television characters. I have a hard time relating but I guess it is a thing. Why? Why allow something or someone that is not real to use your precious energy when these characters and behaviors have no impact on your well being? Is it really worth your energy?
So, how do we keep our emotions attached to what matters most to us while keeping the outside noise away? I want to spend my time and energy adding value to my life and the lives of those that matter to me.
To me, I think I must first start with trying to understand why. Why do I think my opinion matters to others? Why do I care if others make their own choices, based on what best suits them? How do I learn to keep my mouth shut when I don’t agree with someone or something when in the end, none of it matters in my world?
Here are some tips that I plan to use to achieve this this mindset:
- Listen. Listen to all of the information.
- Consider the situation. Everyone has a different story, therefore we all have different views.
- Do not be quick to respond. Listen. Think. It is not always necessary to respond. If you must respond, listen and think first.
- Do not jump to conclusions or make assumptions. Again, everyone has a different story.
- Do not say the first thing that pops in your head. Breathe. Process. Think again.
- If it is unkind, just shut it. There is no point in making this situation more strained by making an unkind comment.
- If you are angry or nervous, shut it. Speaking up when anxious or angry is not conducive to a productive conversation.
- Respect others and their opinion. Just because it is not your opinion, doesn’t make it wrong.
- Never, ever forget, anger, blame and malice solve nothing. If you cannot be part of the conversation with a rational voice, then shut it.
- Our energy is precious. Doesn’t it make more sense to use it for good. Spend your energy on yourself and your family and friends. It will be healthier for you and those that matter most.
Remember, the next time you feel the need to chime in, ask yourself, does it really matter to me? Is it really worth my energy? If not, shut it. Save your energy for good. Energy is a gift. Don’t waste it on irrelevance. It will take some practice but just like most things, the more you do it, the better you get.